Self-Esteem: How It Develops and How to Strengthen Your Confidence

It influences how we make decisions, build relationships, and cope with challenges. Developing self-esteem is a complex and multi-layered process in which biological, psychological, and social factors intertwine.

Imagine a teenager passionate about music, yet constantly ridiculed by peers for his interest. Over time, he gives up the activity that once brought him joy. This example shows how the opinions of others can shape one’s sense of self-worth.

What Is Self-Esteem

Psychologists define self-esteem as a system of self-perceptions that includes cognitive (thoughts), emotional (feelings), and behavioral (actions) components. It can be high, low, or adequate (realistic), and directly affects psychological well-being.

In my view, it’s essential to remember: self-esteem is not a permanent label. It’s a dynamic quality that can change depending on circumstances, experiences, and environment. Working on it requires patience and consistent practice.

How Self-Esteem Develops

1. The Role of Childhood

Parents and close relatives are a child’s first “mirrors.” Support and encouragement foster a sense of self-worth, while constant criticism or neglect can lower self-esteem. For instance, a child often compared to others (“Look how hard Peter tries!”) may grow up believing they are less capable.

Q: Can low self-esteem be “fixed” if childhood was difficult? A: Yes. Over time, through conscious self-work, an adult can reshape internal beliefs and learn to value themselves.

2. Social Environment

School years and adolescence further amplify the role of peers. Teachers, friends, and classmates contribute to self-image. Research shows that adolescents with a supportive environment demonstrate more stable self-esteem (PubMed).

3. Personal Experience and Achievements

Successes and failures leave lasting marks. Achieving goals (such as securing a desired job or completing studies) boosts confidence. Conversely, repeated setbacks without support can undermine belief in one’s abilities.

How do you usually respond to your own failures? Recall the last time you faced one. Did you see it as a lesson and an opportunity to grow, or as proof of inadequacy?

4. Culture and Society

Societal values also shape self-esteem. In individualistic cultures, the focus is on personal success and self-realization, while collectivist cultures emphasize harmony and group recognition. This explains why the standards of “success” differ across countries.

5. Genetic and Biological Factors

Modern research shows that resilience to stress, anxiety levels, and even a tendency toward optimism can have hereditary components (NIH). This doesn’t mean self-esteem is determined by genes, but biology provides the backdrop.

High vs. Low Self-Esteem

High Self-Esteem

Confidence without the need to constantly prove one’s worth.
Ability to accept criticism and mistakes without seeing them as disasters.
Healthy boundaries in relationships.

For example, someone with stable self-esteem, when receiving feedback at work, views it as an opportunity to improve rather than as proof of being “bad.”

Low Self-Esteem

Persistent self-doubt.
Strong need for approval and fear of rejection.
Tendency to compare oneself unfavorably to others.

Such a person might decline a promotion, thinking: “I won’t manage anyway,” even though there is no objective reason for this belief (Mayo Clinic).

For instance, an employee offered to lead a project may refuse due to fear of failure. As a result, they miss out on valuable experience that could foster growth. This is a typical example of how low self-esteem limits opportunities.

How to Maintain Healthy Self-Esteem

1. Self-Reflection

Keeping a journal or practicing mindfulness helps track thoughts and separate facts from self-criticism.

2. Supportive Environment

Surrounding yourself with people who respect and value you lowers anxiety and builds confidence. Conversely, toxic environments erode it.

3. Realistic Goals

It’s important to set achievable goals. Small victories accumulate and create a sense of competence.

I am convinced that even small, consistent steps can bring about significant changes. Healthy self-esteem is built not on grand achievements but on everyday victories.

4. Caring for the Body

Physical activity, good sleep, and healthy eating positively affect mood and confidence.

Think about this: what three things could you do today to support your body and mind? Perhaps a walk outdoors, going to bed earlier, or calling someone you trust.

Conclusion

Self-esteem develops through the interaction of internal and external factors: family, society, personal experiences, and biology. It is not fixed once and for all — people can strengthen it and build healthier attitudes toward themselves. Awareness, support, and respect for personal boundaries play a crucial role.

This material is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional consultation. If you experience symptoms, seek help from a psychologist or doctor.