Why People Cheat: Psychological and Social Reasons

Infidelity is always painful. But what makes it appear in relationships?

Infidelity brings shock, pain, and a deep sense of betrayal — it questions not only trust but also one’s very concept of love. Yet, despite understanding the consequences, many people still choose this path. Modern psychology and sociology offer multiple explanations, based on research and observations of human behavior.

Psychological Roots of Infidelity

From a psychological point of view, infidelity is not always about the lack of love. Sometimes it’s an attempt to fill an inner void — attention, recognition, emotional connection, or a sense of self-worth.

According to a study published in PubMed, many people who engage in extramarital affairs describe their behavior as a “search for emotional intimacy” rather than mere physical pleasure. This is particularly common among those who feel emotionally isolated in their marriages.

Life example: Anna, 37, shared that she cheated on her husband not out of passion but because she felt lonely. “He stopped seeing me as a woman,” she says. “I just wanted someone to look at me warmly again.” This case reflects a typical reason when infidelity becomes a result of emotional deprivation.

Low Self-Esteem and the Need for Validation

Psychologists note that infidelity can serve as a way to reaffirm one’s attractiveness and significance. People with low self-esteem often seek external validation that they are desirable, interesting, and worthy of love.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), about 40% of respondents who admitted to cheating linked their actions to emotional dissatisfaction and internal insecurity.

Social and Cultural Factors

Society and cultural context play a major role. In the digital age, the boundaries between private and public life have blurred: emotional connections can begin as harmless online flirting and turn into real-life affairs.

Research from Harvard Health shows that the accessibility of online communication increases the likelihood of infidelity, especially among individuals prone to boredom or dissatisfaction in relationships.

Type of Infidelity Main Motivation Typical Context
Emotional Seeking understanding and attention Chatting, friendship, flirting
Physical Passion, novelty, boredom Casual encounters, business trips
Complex Combination of emotional and physical needs Long-term parallel relationships

Influence of Family and Environment

If a person grows up in a family where cheating is normalized, the likelihood of repeating this behavior increases. A study by WebMD notes that behavioral patterns observed in parents are often unconsciously reproduced in adult relationships.

Author’s note: Infidelity is not only a moral decision but also a reflection of a person’s psychological state. Awareness, emotional regulation, and honest communication with one’s partner are the main tools to prevent such situations.

Biological and Evolutionary Aspects

Some scientists view infidelity as an evolutionarily influenced behavior. According to several studies published in the Mayo Clinic, for men, cheating may be linked to an unconscious drive to “spread their genes,” while for women, it may stem from seeking a more stable or “genetically compatible” partner.

However, this is not an excuse — merely one explanatory model. Modern culture and moral norms have significantly reshaped human relationships, and our behavior is no longer governed solely by instinct.

How to Prevent Infidelity

Psychotherapists recommend paying attention to the quality of emotional connection in the relationship, openly discussing desires, hurts, and expectations. According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), emotional support and mutual understanding significantly reduce the risk of conflicts and infidelity.

Question: Can infidelity be forgiven?
Answer: Yes, but only if both partners are willing to work on rebuilding trust and understanding the underlying causes.

Question: Does infidelity always mean the end of a relationship?
Answer: Not necessarily. Some couples use the crisis as an opportunity to reassess and strengthen their bond.
Have you ever thought about what fidelity means to you? Where do your boundaries of trust lie — in thoughts, words, or actions?

Disclaimer: This material is for informational and educational purposes only and should not replace professional consultation with a psychologist or psychotherapist. If you are facing infidelity or relationship crisis, consider seeking help from a qualified specialist.

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