A group of researchers in Germany analyzed long-term SOEP panel data and found that when children move out of the parental home, some mothers and fathers experience a noticeable drop in life satisfaction and emotional well-being. The effect is not universal, but statistically significant, and highly sensitive to context — for example, where and “why” the child is leaving (study, work, relationships) and how quickly family roles are restructured (Collischon, 2024; Piper, 2021).
Why It Hits Harder in Midlife
A Double Shift: Role and Identity
The “empty nest” often coincides with typical midlife challenges — reassessing goals, changes in work and family status. Reviews of research emphasize that during this period, emotional regulation mechanisms are more vulnerable, and well-being depends more strongly on the quality of relationships and the meaning of daily roles (Galambos et al., 2020). Cultural differences also matter: in societies with strong family interdependence, an empty home is more often associated with loneliness, while in more individualistic cultures some parents experience relief from reduced caregiving burdens (Hartanto et al., 2024).
What Intensifies or Eases the Decline
“Where the Child Goes” and How Parents Live
German data show that the decline in satisfaction is weaker when the child leaves for education — parents can more easily give this a positive meaning; it is stronger when departure is linked to uncertainty or conflict. Risks increase if parents have a narrow circle of social roles: when “life = children,” the transition becomes a “loss of role.”
A Practical Plan — Caring for Yourself and the Relationship
1) Redefine Roles and Routines
Create a “weekly matrix” without child-related tasks: time for your partner, health, friends, learning. Small, stable rituals — walks, exercise, social gatherings — restore a sense of control and predictability.
2) Maintain Connection but Respect Autonomy
Agree with your child on contact frequency (“Sunday call,” short weekday messages). This reduces anxious waiting while respecting the independence of the young adult.
3) Broaden Your Support Network
Invest in horizontal ties: friends, colleagues, communities. Studies show that social support softens the experience of an empty home and stabilizes mood.
4) Notice Signs of Depression — and Take Action
If sadness, sleep or appetite disturbances, or loss of interest persist for more than two weeks, it’s time to seek professional help. Psychotherapy can help process role loss, strengthen self-regulation skills, and rebuild life meaning.
Disclaimer: This material is for informational and educational purposes only and does not replace medical or psychotherapeutic consultation. If low mood persists, or if you have thoughts of self-harm or feel unsafe, please reach out to a qualified specialist or support services.
